shonenhero: (i'm crying inside.)

[personal profile] shonenhero 2014-04-30 06:51 pm (UTC)(link)
A. im so proud of us for not dying
B. everybody was literally kung fu fighting
C. thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought i died last night
D. i have more bruises scratches and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident
harderbetterfaster: (work it.)

[personal profile] harderbetterfaster 2014-04-30 07:09 pm (UTC)(link)
A. AKA reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by him every so often and he's still in uniform as their councilor.
B. Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that My Little Pony coloring book to use.
C. I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
D. Thank you for holding my sandwich while the police let me ride their horse.
majorcanis: in a totally not creepy way. (harry you remind me of your dad.)

[personal profile] majorcanis 2014-05-01 05:43 am (UTC)(link)
A. We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
B. its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
C. You narrated your dog's thoughts for two and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word. I just listened, and learned.
D. I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
ilinot: (what would julien sorel do?)

[personal profile] ilinot 2014-05-01 05:57 am (UTC)(link)
A. ok is that genuinely the first 4 bars of mozarts symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
B. fuck u guys, stop putting fake babies in my car. the cops came AGAIN
C. u r completely useless 2 the revolution
D. im smoking weed out of a trumpet
Edited 2014-07-28 17:36 (UTC)
meamoxiemaculpa: (disappoint.)

[personal profile] meamoxiemaculpa 2014-05-01 06:03 am (UTC)(link)
A. Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
B. I just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup??
C. Just so you know, the uglier twin gives better BJs..don't be deceived.
D. Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
broodypants: (so while you sit back)

[personal profile] broodypants 2014-07-28 05:02 pm (UTC)(link)
A. A fact: tonight on intervention is the guy who did my tattoo
B. You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentense which says "tell the wolf I'll meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
C. I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. It seems no one will say no to someone covered in red paint
D. You keep asking me questions as though I have that magical thing you call a memmory
Edited 2014-07-28 17:08 (UTC)
serahsourpuss: (Woah there champ)

c

[personal profile] serahsourpuss 2014-07-28 08:18 pm (UTC)(link)
oh. that was just paint? good to know.
broodypants: (gonna set it straight)

[personal profile] broodypants 2014-07-28 10:17 pm (UTC)(link)
Yes it was just red paint. I'm redecorating [ o b v i o u s l y ]
sugarhoney: (its useless to say.)

[personal profile] sugarhoney 2014-07-28 05:29 pm (UTC)(link)
A. i wish i could be happy with nice boy. but no. i need someone who will start the bar fights
B. i have only kidnapped one of them. you should relax now
C. there is a cult i may have last night joined
D. i have told her i love her i cannot drive
goodjob: smoke . smile . snide . prop . combo:bar (with coffee and cream)

[personal profile] goodjob 2014-07-28 05:58 pm (UTC)(link)
A. no no no omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of ur dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job
B. this is even worse then that time i fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning
C. ur surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i dont feel bad 4 u
D. idk but i have u stored in my phone as "guy with beard doing body shots"
cicatrize: (pic#7745050)

a

[personal profile] cicatrize 2014-07-28 08:20 pm (UTC)(link)
1 - It wasn't my dick, it was Adrien's. 2 - Do I look like your maid?
goodjob: suspish (profile)

[personal profile] goodjob 2014-07-28 10:15 pm (UTC)(link)
r u stopping 2 take dick pics when ur getting laid now. if yes pls send them 2 other ppl or see a therapist. ur choice

and i got u food before!
cicatrize: (pic#7745056)

[personal profile] cicatrize 2014-08-01 01:53 am (UTC)(link)
Don't text me while I'm getting laid and I won't be inspired to.

After my post-coital nap I'll consider it.
goodjob: welp . snide (on the tough guy style)

[personal profile] goodjob 2014-08-05 03:53 pm (UTC)(link)
so i should just never text u

wow thanks
septad: (this is a world;)

[personal profile] septad 2014-07-28 06:05 pm (UTC)(link)
A. After a few shots short of 2 septads he decided too show us knife tricks. You can figure out for your self how that ended.
B. He looked at me and pointed to my scar and whispered "the elephant parks here".
C. They probably weren't expecting the crippled guy to throw the first punch.
D. After we fucked I told her the story of Claudius Malvinius untill she fell asleep. I don't know if thats good or bad.
lifeatsteak: [villaicious et all | dns] unless otherwise specified. (Default)

[personal profile] lifeatsteak 2014-09-26 10:13 pm (UTC)(link)
A. So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke.
B. he sent me a drawing of his dick. This game is getting out of control.
C. Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
D. He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. Im impressed.
darmisu: (i sure hope they make something useful)

[personal profile] darmisu 2014-12-23 03:08 am (UTC)(link)
A. I just climbed out the other side of the wagon because there was a spider on mine. I dont take unnecessary risks
B. I mean besides the fact somebody got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night
C. I dont know what youre doing, but there's a dragon on my street
D. last time I carry you out of a forest
Edited 2014-12-23 03:08 (UTC)
theladyorthecrossbow: (don't worry.)

b.

[personal profile] theladyorthecrossbow 2014-12-23 03:28 am (UTC)(link)
He walked it off. That takes it from good to great.
darmisu: (of mankind's deathwish)

[personal profile] darmisu 2014-12-23 12:48 pm (UTC)(link)
he walked away from that? youre telling me Im getting rusty
theladyorthecrossbow: (aren't you delighted with me?)

[personal profile] theladyorthecrossbow 2014-12-23 03:32 pm (UTC)(link)
Hey, you win some, you lose some. Think of it as a job well done for both of you.
rogaine: (IN A TOTALLY HEALTHY WAY.)

[personal profile] rogaine 2015-04-07 03:24 pm (UTC)(link)
A. he just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. quite the charmer.
B. i wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something i could put on a resume
C. the best revenge is premature balding
D. how do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?